THE BLISS PAPERS * INTRODUCTION
I’m an ordinary woman, a mother, and probably not much different from you. In 1994, I had just begun to look into new thought, Reiki and the like, but didn’t study at monasteries or ashrams, go to church, or regularly practice meditation. Yet, in that same year, I had a major spiritual awakening – a spontaneous rush of light running through me (probably electro-magnetic waves) that you’ll hear about in a video I plan to put on the website eventually. It began a physio/psychological/spiritual process that has changed my life in every way since it occurred. It culminates in an integration of the two poles of the psyche, leading to a sustained inner peace that resides in the present moment, in Being. Although most spiritual traditions have a name for it, I call it a “Spontaneous Awakening of Light” (SAL) to keep it independent of any particular tradition. (The literature on Kundalini currently has the most to offer on its physical aspects and integration.)
What distinguishes a SAL is not the person who experiences it, but that it’s a spiritual encounter with an evolutionary biological process of consciousness.
What distinguishes a SAL is not the person who experiences it, but that it’s a spiritual encounter with an evolutionary biological process of consciousness. Suffice to say, one’s perception of life changes, moving to an experience of the mystical and metaphorical.
About three years into this process of integration, I found myself periodically having an intuitive need to put pen to paper. I did not come up with a particular issue and will myself to write about it; the subject and words just came, bringing with them a wisdom and understanding that was often symbolic.
Over the years, the origin and nature of these papers became more clear as they brought peace to my confused psyche. I had been raised Catholic as had generations of my ancestors before me. Although this is certainly not the case for all Catholics nor necessarily inherent in its teachings, Catholicism was taught to me in a very fear-based manner and with a literal interpretation that made no sense to me. Not understanding the ramifications, my mother used her faith to discipline me: “God’s going to punish you for that.” Or, when I looked in the mirror as a little girl, “The devil’s going to jump out and get you!” These and other such daily pronouncements solidified God as a negative and harsh disciplinarian. “He” was a separate entity living apart from me. His retribution became something to fear, and, for me, there was no love to be found. Unfortunately at the time, catechism and all but a handful of clergy I encountered served only to strengthen this fear. Not surprisingly, I didn’t like church or catechism and left it the minute I was free of my parents. Nevertheless, I was well indoctrinated; the fears and apprehensions I associated with God and Spirit lived deep in my psyche.
Many of you may have had similar, unfortunate experiences with your own upbringing in religion or simply your acquaintance with it. By the time my awakening occurred, I had turned off to the idea of God, was an agnostic, and couldn’t even use the word God because of what it conjured up (the judgmental, bearded old man).
Nevertheless, I had to make sense out of what had happened to me in this experience of light and began reading intensely for a number of years. What I learned was certainly different from the fear-based teachings of my youth. As I read “new thought” literature, a lot of it made sense to me, especially when utilizing Eastern or Native American beliefs and integrating science. I also found some aspects of this new age talk ungrounded – free-floating without a rooted system. I wasn’t very aware that someplace deep within me conflict existed between all these new ideas I was reading about and adopting and my past indoctrination. I longed for it all to make some kind of rational sense (by our cultural standards anyway).
After I began writing the first few papers, I realized my psyche was formulating this “rational sense:” a way for me to metaphorically interpret my Catholic past and marry it to all I had recently read and learned. (You’ll read about this in the paper, Pick a Path.) I utilized a self-editing technique whereby each paper could be no longer than one, stand-alone page. I fudged the margins and font-size sometimes to accomplish this, but it allowed me to get to the essence of what I was saying, what this Holy Wisdom was teaching me. For indeed, I am its student.
It’s important to note that these writings became a way for me to open my heart fully to Spirit and allow Life’s riches to be received. I do not present them as THE Truth, but rather a metaphoric interpretation by which the Truth could blossom fully within me. Two of these essays (An Integration of East and West, and Five Stages Inherent in an Awakening) are related to Catholicism given my upbringing. This needn’t stop you from gaining meaning from it if your own religious upbringing was different or non-existent. The rest of the papers are themes in all teachings. I share them with you now because they may speak to you – in part or as a whole – and help you with your own disparity of thought about the spiritual nature of life.
Peace be with you.
© 2006 * Barbara Atkinson
