Accepting Ourselves
“This above all, to thine own self be true.” Shakespeare
“To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer is to have kept your soul alive.” Robert Louis Stevenson
“The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists who are dedicated to justice, peace, and brotherhood.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
There are those of us who feel a bit different and outside the mainstream of thought during this process of awakening to our true Self, and perhaps there is little understanding from some of our family or friends. A spiritual experience and its inquiry can thrust us into lifestyle changes with perceptions that are not yet universally acknowledged or accepted. As we adjust and come to terms with what is happening to us, we must recognize that just as important as finding a community of tolerant and like-minded folk, it is important to know this:
There is value in being on the periphery, just as there is value in the mainstream. It is the periphery that shapes and influences the direction of the mainstream, just as a flowing river is shaped by its borders.
There is a tremendous force to the rushing river of mainstream. We feel the pull to think like, act like, be like and conform to its mind-set and values in order to be accepted and appreciated. We recognize that there is great value to this rushing flow of mainstream: it carries life; it carries our heritage and provides practicality and sustenance. It is enriched by what has been, is, and will be as the water moves onward — stretching, changing and moving to the nuances of its environment. And what shapes that environment? The periphery does. What would happen if the borders of the river did not “stand its ground,” if it succumbed to the rushing force and tumbled into the river? Soon that swift current of water would be going nowhere — one, big, stagnant pool of swirling debris.
The periphery feeds the river with its varied self: a riverbank full of sticks, leaves, rocks, fungus, insects, and a multitude of plants and organisms in various stages of life and decay. On occasion the influence of the periphery is so strong, a particular area finds itself overtaken, no longer part of the border — the great river reached out, overtook, and fully incorporated it into itself as it rushed along. In all its variations, whether large or small, the periphery shapes, directs, nurtures and influences the mainstream so it is ever changing, ever renewed, ever provided with opportunities to move this way or that, pool or bubble, cleanse or create on its way to integration with the great Sea. And so it is with us.
It is an apt analogy, reminding us that whether we find ourselves in the mainstream or on the periphery, our role is valued—an important part of the whole, a needed and purposeful participation that adds to creation. Many great artists, writers, scientists, musicians, individuals and groups who challenged the status quo were non-conforming in their contribution and on the periphery. We would be lost without them. They shaped and influenced the river of life profoundly, and continue to do so.
When we look at the river, we automatically take in its borders; there is not one without the other. They are a whole. Never underestimate your value in the world. The web of life would suffer from your absence. Maybe you directly touch millions or, more likely, just a few. If you could see the big picture in toto, you would know that those few you touch may go on to touch others who influence others, and so on — all intricately linked. On the road to integration, we must let go of the fear of not belonging, forgive ourselves and others (accepting what is) and be sincere to who we are and the role we play in this great opera of life. As author Joan Chittister so eloquently states in her book, There is a Season:
“Without the inner freedom it takes to defy the chains of convention, without the self-esteem it takes to trust our own truth, we face our worlds unprepared and unaware. Freedom is the capstone of truth. Our time is short here and there is much to do. Therefore, we must cultivate a passion for the truth. We must seek it, demand it and tell it. And once we have broken through the levels of propriety and protocol that collude to pretend that what isn’t true is necessary, we are forever free. No one can enslave us again.
“Self-esteem is the blessing that comes with honesty. With self-esteem we cannot lose, no matter what we lose. Longfellow’s lines hold immortal value: ‘Those that respect themselves are safe from others; they wear a coat of mail that none can pierce.’ When we have done what must be done, what we were put here to do at this time, in this age, at this place, then we can live with heads up and hearts unbroken, whatever our losses. Then no one can best us, even when we fail the fray. Then we will never die before we have lived.”
© 2007 * Barbara Atkinson
